Are the designers just screwing with us?

In my grandmother's day a size 10 was the "IT" size, then my mothers day a size "8" was the "IT" size. OK, I get it we are going down in size! I am in my forties and the "IT" size was a "6" up until the past ten years, then it was a "4" to "6". Well, all right, I can live with this. Now the new "IT" size is a "0" to "2" are you kidding me! If your anything like me, my bones are bigger than a 0/2!

I saw Paris Hilton interviewed the other day on the View. They commented on how thin she had gotten and with a big smile she said, "Thank You!". Now come on, have we really become a society that is all about the bones! Do we as women really want to look like a walking skeleton! I like having a few curves. My husband complains when I get too thin. Oh and by the way, when I am "too thin" I am wearing a size 4, not a 2! At 5' 7", am I suppose to top the scales at 110? I don't think so!

We as women have to see ourselves as we really are and not as a "SIZE'! Believe me I know how hard it is to walk into a department store and realize that I am squeezing into a six. "What! I have always worn a six, have I gained weight? I am never eating again!" You know you have been there! But is a six really a six anymore? Are the designer's just screwing with us? Well, just to satisfy my own curiosity I decided to take my size "6" pants to the department store with me and lay them side to side with the new fashions. Guess what? My size "6" were the same size as the new size "8"! However, that's not the shocking part. My size "6" pants were also the same as a size as another designers size "4", what is up with that?

The moral of the story ladies; know your weight range, be comfortable with your weight and forget about the number sewn into the back of your pants. I now have an array of sizes in my closet from size "8" to size "2" (yes I said size "2" LOL). My weight is exactly the same now as it was when I was 20, 125 lbs and I get it, the designers are screwing with all of us!

Getting your groove back!

Today’s world is a tough place to be. We have daily challenges with family, finance and friends. How we balance our internal energy is the difference in personal happiness and calling the doctor for the anxiety pills! Let face it, your husband or boyfriend isn’t exactly telling you how beautiful you are everyday when he is solely focused on how to pay the mortgage! Of course he is not listing when you are talking to him about your crappy day because he is trying not to scream looking at the pile of bills on the table that he can’t pay!

So, how do we as women get our groove back on? Easy! Well, not exactly but it is up to us and only us. I recently discovered that I was no longer able to shop until I drop or purchase hundreds of un-necessary cosmetics because I just had to have that color of lip gloss to mix with my forty other shades. In addition to this realization I stepped on the scale, wrong move! I found myself jumping out of bed with what I thought was a heart attack in the middle of the night all over the sudden change in my fabulous life.

I woke one morning with an epiphany that I was letting life happen to me, not taking charge of my world. To take charge meant change, Oh My God, that nasty word, Change! I took a really good look in the mirror and didn’t like what was looking back. Who is she? No wonder he isn’t looking at me anymore, no wonder I am unhappy! Who are you? When he married me I was energetic, independent, happy and most of all in control. I decided that moment “Today is my day to take it back, take it all back!”

You would think this is easy to proclaim in the mirror, shout it out, and demand it all be given back, right? Well your right, that was the easy part, but now, how do I actually get it back, where the heck did it go? I looked everywhere, not one pillow unturned! No one had taken it; no one else lost it, no one that I could find to blame for loosing ME! So it was up o ME to get it back!

Getting “IT” back is exactly what I started working on. My plan of attack was to first determine exactly what “IT” entailed. So I made a list, I love making lists, It somehow helps to delay the process of working on “IT”. I started with that woman that looked back at me in the mirror. Oh don’t act like you don’t know her! You are her! No longer shaved my legs or caring about my hair or makeup. Oh and those few extra pounds, what’s the big deal! Wrong! In addition, I no longer had an answer to my problems only more crap to lay off on my husband. Not that I expected him to fix it but it just made me feel better to tell him how crappy my day was. Of course, then I was annoyed at him for not caring! How sensitive of me, I must have thought his day was filled with balloons and birthday cake!

So, my assessment, my honest look at myself was one I didn’t like much. It’s hard to look at yourself and make a list of all the things that have changed (that nasty word again) about yourself. But an honest look is an absolute MUST! It is the key to empowerment. What did I do next? I made another list, LOL. Again, prolonging the inevitable. However, it is very necessary as this list in your road map. Your first list was to beat yourself up and determine what the heck is wrong with you and who you have become. The second list is made of promises to yourself.

The promise is that you will CHANGE! You will find yourself again! You will shave your legs and wear skirts to show them off (remember the old days?). You will not blow up over every little thing that happens TOO you. You will simply realize that something happen and you will realize it is just a thing that happen and not go nuts over it! You will just handle it and go on with a smile! It’s not that easy you say! Yes it is, but you have to decide to deal with it just that way! A lot of meaningless things that happen, just happen, they don’t destroy who we are.

It is really just that easy! You will get back on your diet and get back into your skinny jeans. You will get up an hour earlier and do your make up and actually style your hair rather than going for that “natural look” because it doesn’t really look good on anyone! You will ask you husband how his day was and this time really care about HIS day. When he asks how your day was you will simply tell him the good things that happen and smile! Give him a break, his is just as lost as you where before you looked in the mirror.

Today, my financial life not different, my husband is still in a bad mood, and my family drives me crazy. You might think that nothing has CHANGED. I HAVE CHANGED! I lost those extra pounds that somehow found their way to my rear end, that pretty girl that used to look back at me in the mirror has found her way home! I am happy inside and I feel empowered! Now my family and friends all ask me how I do it! I simply say, I found something that I lost, I found ME!

I know you are sitting there saying to yourself “it can’t be that easy, there must be more to it! Well, of course there is! I just can’t dump it all on you at once, how do you think you fell apart in the first place!

To be continued …..

Written by: Brooks Rose

The Power of Accessories!

Keep in mind, everything you put on before you walk out that door tells a story about who you are. We all look at someone and decide who we believe that person is before we actually meet them. Example, the guy with the dreadlocks and sloppy clothes is not exactly the guy you want to take home to mom telling her he is your new boyfriend from Harvard. However, that is yet another story! Let’s stick with you and your accessories; we will get to fixing him later.

What works with what? What do my accessories say about me? Accessories can make or break an outfit. Let’s say you have on your white tee shirt and jeans, but you’re going out with your girlfriends for cocktails. This gets me excited because there are about a hundred different ways to go with this. Hats, scarf’s, vests, belts, bracelets, rings, necklaces and don’t forget the handbags and shoes! OMG, my favorites are the shoes!

Every time you pick up a magazine your hit with what all the latest celebs are wearing. The trick to knowing what to wear can be made really easy. First think about what you like, are you a lots of bracelets girl or a less is more type. Are you fashion forward or country hip? Knowing who you are is definitely square one. If you are anything like me, I fit in the “all of the above” category, depending on what I am doing and who I plan to be that day.

Magazines are great for keeping us up to date on what is current and hitting the runways. So does that mean we have to hit the shopping trail every time the trend changes? No. If you notice the styles don’t really change they just recycle. Things we are calling trendy today we called old fashion five years ago. If we look back about two years ago accessories were simple, delicate and silver. Today, bold necklaces, big rings and gold jewelry are all the craze. When I look back into my yesteryear closet I see the wide belts, big necklaces and out of date bulky gold jewelry. Styles recycle and the latest trends are just a new version of what we wore a few years ago. The trick is how do we purchase a few new updated trends and mix them with our yesteryear accessories, thereby creating the iconic you. This will make you stand out from the crowd of followers and scream individuality.

Of course, if you’re among the still “financial untouched” by our present economy and money was meant for shopping, Neiman Marcus is holding the door for you! The rest of us are looking for fun places to pick up those trendy pieces to create the new us. I like the consignment stores for the unique estate pieces, you know the stuff that Miss Neiman Marcus bought and just could not bring herself to wear! Another place that is great is the Good Will stores, they are updated and this is a twofold shopping event because you are not just helping yourself to fun accessories you’re also helping those in need, again unlike Miss NM.

Before heading out on your scavenger hunt for your newest treasures, do just a bit of homework. Yea, I know homework sucks, but this will keeps us focused on the prize. Go through your favorite magazines and tear out the pages with the looks you just have to have. Using a red, purple or whatever color marker, circle your desired item on the page and have an idea of what you already have in your wardrobe that you will pair with these items. Ok, off you go! Your desired treasures are out there and you don’t have to spend your last dime trying to look like Miss NM. She will be wearing what the sales girls told her looked great on her (we know they all lie) and you on the other hand, will have great pleasure of knowing that you are your own personal fashion designer, after all, aren’t they all just knocking each other off anyway!

Written by: Brooks Rose